Star Across the Nighttime Sky
by SeaBreeze
Summary: KOTOR 2 AttonExile. Exile Taset Pren's emotions are becoming an issue on the Ebon Hawk, but what happens when she goes to the worst possible person on the ship to help her out? Is the solution to her problem really what she's looking for?
1. Ignorance

Star Across the Nighttime Sky

By Seabreeze

Chapter One: Ignorance

AN: so I wrote literally like 5 versions of this story. I hope this is the final one…

Takes place sometime in the game (KOTOR2, obviously).

Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to LucasArts and Obsidian.

_::There is no emotion; there is peace._

_There is no ignorance; there is knowledge._

_There is no passion; there is serenity._

_There is no chaos; only harmony._

_There is no death; there is the Force.::_

The Exile sighed, breathing the words in and out of her body like the cure for a disease. She was not a Jedi anymore, not officially, but the mantra still brought her a great amount of comfort. As if with each recitation a heap of her troubles fell away from her shoulders; with each line her breathing became deeper and easier. It was purifying.

It was strange to be a Jedi, but not a part of the order – she existed in a bizarre limbo with guidelines to follow, but no one to enforce them and no consequences for breaking them except for those on her own conscience. In a way it was nice, and in a different way it made her edgy – too easy to slip away from the true meaning of being a Jedi, as it were. But such thoughts were not pertinent for meditation –

::Do not think that, because you can fool yourself, you cannot fool me.::

Kreia's voice appeared in her head, and though she did not physically react, the older woman caught her off guard.

::Kreia?:: she asked. ::Why don't you just come talk to me?::

::Do not change the subject.::

::What do you mean?:: She asked, somewhat irritated, completely unaware that the Ebon Hawk's pilot had entered the dormitory and was watching her as he waited for her to speak to him.

::You believe yourself to be sincerely endeavoring to following the code. Your emotions block your devotion to it.::

::My emotions? What do you mean?::

::Do not be foolish, girl. That idiot of a pilot monopolizes your thoughts.::

::He doesn't,:: she replied, feeling her cheeks warm slightly.

::You know it to be true. Do not try to deny it to me. I can sense the embarrassment, can feel the blood rush to your face and hear the changes in your breathing…::

She swallowed heavily. She tried not to think about how often the pilot occupied her mind, but the cold hard fact was that Kreia was right.

::Thoughts of lust can be easily controlled, Kreia.:: She reminded the older Jedi.

::Perhaps. It is not lust that concerns me.::

::Then what is?:: The Exile demanded.

::It is passion. You must deal with this passion and do away with it – immediately.::

::You are right, of course,:: The Exile replied with resignation. ::It will be handled.::

::Let us not speak of this again,:: Kreia warned. The Exile pulled out of her meditation at that moment to see Atton Rand standing before her, leaning against the wall casually with a bored and irritated look on his face.

"You're awake, finally. What, you didn't hear me coming in?" he asked at the surprised look on her face. "I thought you Jedi were supposed to be aware of your surroundings."

"Kreia was distracting me," she said as she pushed her hair out of her face.

"Kreia?" He asked, giving her a hand as she pulled herself up from the ground. "You were talking with that old witch just now?" She nodded.

"I'm sorry, Atton, was there anything you needed?" she said, frowning slightly, clearly still bothered by her conversation with Kreia.

"Yeah, just wanted to know if you had any input for where we go now?" he asked. She shook her head.

"No, it doesn't really matter. Maybe Kreia or Bao-Dur will have an idea." She said. "If you could excuse me, I really need to think."

He has rarely seen her so distracted and upset; she wasn't even trying to be cordial or friendly with him. Usually she would even joke around with him a little bit, something she only did rarely with Bao-Dur and never anyone else. She was especially quiet and reserved with Kreia – he suspected she mistrusted the old bag, as she rightly should. But never, not with anyone, was she impolite.

"Alright, I get the hint," he said, turning to leave the dormitory.

She sat in deep, silent thought for a long time. Kreia was right, she did have feelings for the pilot; feelings that directly conflicted with the wisdom of the code. It was an unnecessary, even dangerous, distraction that needed to be dealt with. She groaned softly to herself. Her feelings for Atton made her feel like a child, made her feel innocent and unsure and excited. There was a lightness in their interactions that countered the darkness she felt all around her, the darkness of knowing she was one of the last surviving Jedi…

She knew it was wrong, that as their leader she should be strong and sure of herself and not let herself be distracted by anything, but the truth of it was that she was very concerned with what the pilot thought about her. She scowled. Such thoughts were unnatural, she had been taught from a very young age. It was why she had done her best to ignore their existence. But Kreia was right – ignoring them would not make them go away.

But how to put an end to them?

Part of her problem was that she was not sure how he felt about her – sometimes he flirted, but that meant little other than that he found her physically attractive. Sometimes he seemed as needy of her acceptance as she was of his, but that could easily be attributed to the fact that she was his leader.

Yes, it would be good to know that he felt nothing for her romantically. And the idea made sense – Atton was the pazaak playing, juma-juice loving, Twi'lek oogling scoundrel pilot with a dark past. She was just a quiet Jedi. They had lived lives that could not have been more different; indeed they were very different people. It was unlikely that he felt anything for her – she was too different from what he was used to, too different from what he wanted. She was sure of it now, now that she had thought on it – so illogical, that he could be interested in her.

She felt her heart drop considerably at the idea, and tried to tell herself that it was for the best. Unrequited love was, after all, not love at all.

_You rip the sureness from my stare _

_And throw the pieces in the air_

_Your fingers string me like a pearl_

_You say I'm not your kind of girl_

_A spider underneath my skin_

_I want you out, I want you in_

_The venom and the vaccine swirl_

_You say I'm not your kind of girl_

A/N: Song is "Not Your Girl" by Bree Sharp. Reviews and feedback would be appreciated.

If you catch any discrepencies in the Star Wars universe, please ignore them unless you think it will affect the story. I've seen all the Star Wars movies (actually had a marathon with all 6… yeeeah. Long time to sit.), but it's been awhile. I bought Episode IV but its Christmas, so I can't really afford to go buy the rest. I just ask you give me the benefit of the doubt.


	2. Chaos

Star Across the Nighttime Sky

By Seabreeze

Chapter Two: Chaos

AN: I warn you, this chapter is not well named. Haha. This chapter will be short; a transition chapter, if you will. However, since I don't think anyone read the first chapter, I'm not overly concerned. Though, if you are reading this now, I would like to let you know that things will get juicy here reeeeeal soon.

Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to LucasArts and Obsidian.

-------

She had tried everything. She had tripled her meditation; she had thrown herself into physical repetitions with the vibroblade and light saber. She had spent every free moment of the day reminding herself that there was no emotion, there was only peace.

And none of it had helped.

Telling herself there were no emotions somehow did not negate the fact that she did indeed have them, nor did it encourage her to do away with them – the code said there were no emotions, not that those with emotions should fight them back.

Her entire life had revolved around the code since the day she had been initiated into the order when she was a small girl – and now, for the first time, it was failing her; not even addressing her concerns.

As if this were not enough, Kreia was giving her dark looks every time they passed in the Ebon Hawk, and Atton was flirting harder than usual. No, it wasn't enough that the system of beliefs she had lived on since she was a tiny little girl were giving her no assistance in her problem, but her shipmates were not helping the situation one bit. She avoided both Kreia and Atton at all costs, spending an unusual amount of time with Mira, who despite herself loved the female companionship.

Mira had plenty of stories and advice involving the opposite sex, but none of it quite came close to Taset's situation with Atton. In a strange way, talking to Mira was helpful, if only because her stories were so bizarre that they distracted Taset from the confusions and complications in her own life.

She was at a complete and utter loss as to what to do. Controlling her feelings would not work – she could not help them, and she had tried in vain to rid herself of them. She had never in her life failed so miserable at something. She told herself that no true Jedi would struggle with this sort of frivolous problem, but it simply could not be helped.

What she needed was outside help. She refused to go to Kreia – that was a general rule for her: don't go to Kreia unless absolutely necessary. She would be too mortified to talk to Bao-Dur about it, though she trusted him completely, and she wasn't sure Mira quite understood the whole situation.

"Look, it's pretty easy. If you want him, you know you can have him. If you don't, I've got a pretty good idea that he'll leave you alone. It's pretty easy."

Granted, she hadn't told Mira of her conflicting emotions towards the pilot.

What she needed was something foolproof, something that would end her feelings for him for good.

The problem was finding that solution…

-------

A/N: Swear, later chapters will be longer and more fun. I will have them up soon.


	3. Emotion

Star Across the Nighttime Sky

By Seabreeze

Chapter Three: Emotion

A/N: Thank you to my two lovely readers, Satin Dingo and starwars-geek31, for their feedback. This chapter is for you!

Disclaimer: See first chapter

--------

She had made up her mind: it was the only way. It was somewhat humiliating, but - _There is no emotion; there is peace_ - she let out a sigh. It was necessary. It would bring her peace, whereas refusing to act as she knew she should would only bring her more suffering – not to mention, it would keep Kreia off her back. She swallowed hard before she entered the cockpit, closing her eyes and finding the nerves inside of her and calming them one by one. Once she was completely relaxed, she took a step in.

"Atton, can I talk to you?" she asked, voice serene as always. So far, so good. The pilot, busy with, of all things, his set of pazaak cards, did not turn around.

"Sure, what can I do for you?"

"It's something rather important, so I'd like to talk to you in private, if you don't mind." She said. Atton turned and stared at her.

"No one ever comes in here but you, sweetheart, it's as private as can be," he smiled, and when she only fidgeted in response, he got up and closed the door to the cockpit. "Better?" he asked. She nodded, looking slightly flushed.

"What's going on?" he asked casually, leaning against the back of the pilot's seat across from her.

_There is no emotion; there is peace._ Deep breath.

"I need to ask you a question."

"Shoot."

This was harder than she anticipated – her heart refused to settle down for too long, pumping blood, it seemed, straight to her cheeks. She took another deep breath, willing all of her organs and muscles to relax – there was no danger, no stress – she was just talking to Atton, trying to find a solution to her problem.

"I have this… problem, and I think you might be the person who can help me," she said finally. Atton's eyebrows raised.

"Alright," he said. At that moment she had a small, internal panic attack, realizing that she was sitting underneath his gaze looking like a fool.

"I have been talking to Kreia and she seems to think my problem is something that needs fixing immediately, and, well, I think this is the best way – "

"Just spit it out, sweetheart, and I'll see what I can do."

He definitely suspected something was up now. She closed her eyes briefly to his stare, ordering her body to relax. _There is no emotion; there is peace._Why was it suddenly so hard to tell the truth?! She wanted to know. Why had a lifetime worth of Jedi training not prepared her to handle something like this? Where was the peace of the Force now, where was the calm of the well-trained Jedi mind?! She shook her head, breaking her chain of thoughts.

"I have feelings for you," she said at long last, a blush rising unabashedly to her cheeks as she watched for his reaction. Atton's jaw dropped. He seemed to be at a loss for words, so she scrambled to take advantage of her silence. "And I know – I know it's ridiculous, and you would never reciprocate those feelings, and it's really something I need to get over as a Jedi, I mean, if I want to truly follow the code…" she realized she was babbling and immediately cut herself off. Her heart was beating a mile a minute. _There is no emotion; there is peace._

Atton let out a strangled laugh, and she felt shame rush her veins. She had not anticipated this: the idea that he might ridicule her, see her for the fool she suddenly felt she was.

"You… amaze me." he said with incredulity. She wanted nothing more than to sulk out of the cockpit and drop right off the Ebon Hawk into hyperspace. She needed to sit down. _There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no emotion; there is peace._

"I know… please forgive me, it is something that I should be able to control, to fight off… I just… I just wanted to ask if you could do something for me."

"And what's that?" Atton asked. He was so hard to read! She wanted desperately to take a peek into his mind, to see what he was thinking, feeling… if he would ever be able to see her as a respectable leader ever again.

"Tell me you don't return those feelings," she said, just a little desperately. "Tell me… tell me I am a fool to feel such things, that I put our entire mission in jeopardy for the sake of a little crush. I think… I think if I hear those truths, if I hear them from you, it will be easier for me to, to… to come to my senses."

"You're stuttering," was all Atton said after a moment. "The great Taset Pren, the last living Jedi, stuttering." He laughed a little, as if it was his own private joke. She could only stare at him helplessly. "Alright, I'm sorry." He said, clearing his throat. "Let me get this straight: you want me to tell you that I don't care for you and that I'm not attracted to you so you can get over me and get on living your Jedi life, am I right?"

"…right." She said, rubbing her hands – suddenly cold and clammy – together to warm them up. Atton chuckled softly, again almost to himself.

"There might be a problem with that," he said. Taset did a double take, eyes as wide as saucers as she stared at him.

"A problem?" she repeated faintly. The fear was overwhelming. _There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no emotion; there is peace._

"Yes," Atton replied, taking a step towards her.

"What problem?" she asked, her voice unstable. He took another step for her, close enough to touch her, and she backed up, stumbling over a spare cord until her back hit the side wall of the cockpit. Atton kept advancing.

"I can't tell you that," he said. He was an arm's length away now…

"Why not?" she choked out, pressing her hands against the cool walls of the Ebon Hawk. _There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no emotion; there is peace. _Atton was close enough now that there were mere inches between them. He rested his arm on the wall above her head, leaning in so that it was unnecessary to speak above a whisper.

"I couldn't lie to you, sweetheart," he said softly. Taset's mind went blissfully blank as she stared up at his handsome, smug face.

"Lie to me…?" she still failed to understand, failed to even begin to wrap her mind around the idea, and she cocked her head in confusion.

"Surely the others have said something," he said, voice seductively low and soft.

"No," she said, as puzzled as ever.

"You still don't get it, do you?" he asked with a laugh. "I do believe I have seen it all. I've stumped a Jedi. Let me make it clear, then: I can't tell you I don't have feelings for you, Exile, because I do."

It was as if, with those words, he had removed all the air from her lungs. Her breath was gone, the code was gone, thoughts of Kreia were gone; she had not expected this. She had spent so much time convincing herself a man like Atton could never love a woman like her…

"Oh," the word came out in a rush of air, and she continued to stare up at him. She swallowed, frowning and looking away from him.

"What, you don't believe me?" he asked softly, brushing a stray lock of hair from her eyes. "You are less aware of your surroundings than I thought, Jedi. I've loved you from day one. Everyone on the ship knows it."

It was almost too much to take. She had been banking heavily on the pilot not returning her feelings… and he did? The conflict in her heart was great, and she grew irritated.

"But… no," she said. "No. Why – _how_? I'm not… I'm not your type!"

"You seem upset," Atton said, half insulted; half amused.

"You were supposed to tell me what a fool I am for letting myself develop feelings for you," she said in a tone that touched accusation. "You were supposed to… to…"

"Supposed to what? And what do you mean, I'm not your type?" Atton demanded.

"I'm not… I don't know, Atton! I'm a _Jedi_, for one. I live by a strict set of ethical codes… I don't even like pazaak!"

"So my type is an immoral, non-Jedi pazaak player, is that it?" he asked. "I'm that simple to figure out, huh?"

"That's not what I meant," she retorted heatedly. "We come from entirely different worlds, Atton, how could I possibly ever be what you want?"

"The same way that I'm what you want?" Atton replied sarcastically. "Look, sister, I don't love you because you're some perfect Jedi doll and I'm some cantina scum! I love you because… I love you because of _you_. Because of the way you treat me, the way you treat everyone." Atton was now flushed with emotion, and Taset stared at him. He swallowed, controlling himself. "It doesn't have anything to do with all that stuff you talked about. I loved you because you let me out of that holding cell without question. You trusted me right off the bat, no questions asked, and even when I told you everything you didn't question me for a second." He brushed his forehead against hers, shaking her sense of comfort. "Let me ask… what makes a Jedi like you love a scoundrel pilot like me?"

It took her a long time to formulate her answer, partially thanks to all the stroking and nuzzling Atton was doing. It was highly distracting.

"Maybe I do love you because you're a pazaak-obsessed scoundrel," she said softly, her voice wavering. He pressed his lips against her throat and she sucked in a breath, intoxicated by his proximity. "Maybe I've never been around anyone so rough around the edges," he pulled his lips away from her neck and the lack of warmth was appalling. "But I think it is because I have never seen such a good heart in any person before, even one who doesn't seem to think so."

"I assume you will not turn down my advances," he said teasingly, his voice deepening slightly as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Oh, no," Taset said, putting a hand up in front of his lips to stop his progress. "Atton… you're supposed to help me, not make things more difficult." Atton moved so that his lips brushed her ear when he spoke, sending chills down her spine.

"I never understood what the Jedi find so wrong with love," he said.

At that moment, the worst possible moment, the door to the cockpit opened.

"What's with the closed - ? Atton, what are you doing to her?! She looks terrified, leave her alone!"

Mira had come in. Taset found her entire face was burning, but Atton's spell over her was broken. She ducked under his arm and stumbled for Mira, rubbing her cheeks subconsciously as she did so. Atton let out a frustrated growl.

"Aw, come on, sweetheart!" he cried, shooting Mira a dark glare.

"She has a name, you know," Mira said harshly, standing almost protectively in front of the Jedi. "I'm surprised she didn't castrate you."

"It's fine, Mira," Taset mumbled guiltily from behind the bounty hunter.

"Taset!" he said. It was the first time – at least that she could remember – that he had called her by her name – not 'sweetheart', 'Exile', 'Jedi', or 'sister'. Taset. Her heart skipped a beat.

"I'm sorry, Atton, we'll have to finish this conversation later," she said, shooting him a truly apologetic look before hurrying out of the cockpit.

"I'm watching you," Mira told the pilot, arms crossed. Atton scowled bitterly at the woman.

"Thanks a lot, Mira," he snapped, turning from the bounty hunter and taking a deep breath.

"What was going on?" she asked. "Why was the door closed? Were you trying to seduce her? Real smooth."

"_She_ wanted the door closed, not me," Atton fired back at her. "And why don't you ask _her_? You obviously like her better."

"Hate to break it to you, Atton, but everybody likes her better," the bounty hunter said casually as she left the pilot with only her words to ponder.

-------

_Leave unsaid unspoken_

_Eyes wide shut unopened_

_You and me_

_Always be_

_You and me_

_Always _

_Between the lines_

_-------_

A/N: Song is "Between the Lines" Sara Bareilles. Please leave feedback.


	4. Passion

Star Across the Nighttime Sky

By Seabreeze

Chapter Four: Passion

A/N: I enjoy this chapter. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter up, I was just unsure of what to do with the ending.

Disclaimer: Damnit. No. Leave me alone. I don't own anything.

- - -

::Fool. A complete failure,:: Kreia's voice echoed in her head the moment she left the cockpit. ::You exacerbated the problem, and now not only must you work against your own emotions, but his as well.:: she sounded very disappointed indeed, and Taset felt a flare of anger that she calmed immediately.

Anger, revenge, lust for battle – all emotions she could control.

It was passion she struggled with.

Keeping her mind silent, she made her way to where Kreia kept her solitude. Kreia looked somewhat surprised when her protégé practically stormed into the room.

"None of that anymore, old woman, we are speaking face to face from here on out," she said sternly. Some part of her was shocked at being so forwards with Kreia.

"You will speak to me with respect," Kreia said severely. Taset frowned and crossed her arms.

"I demand the same respect from you."

"Do not be an idiot, girl," Kreia said, a warning in her voice.

"Listen to me," Taset said. "My problem with my emotions and with Atton is my problem, and I will deal with it how I see fit. I do not want to hear your opinions on the matter any longer, nor do I need them." She took a deep breath. "I am a grown woman and a full-fledged Jedi, and I must make my decisions on my own, whether you deem them to be right or not."

"If you think – "

"I respect that you are my teacher, Kreia, and that I have much to learn from you. But I ask that you understand that outside of what you have to teach me about the Force, my life is my own and you have no room to comment or advise me on it."

She turned on her heel and left the room, knowing that for her, at least, the conversation was over. She busied her mind, putting up a mental barrier as Atton had taught her to block Kreia from entering her thoughts. She felt bold and shaky as she walked back to the women's dormitories to meditate in solitude with Visas.

- - -

Atton had been in a perpetually bad mood ever since Taset has confronted him with her problem in the cockpit. He outright refused to talk with Taset or Mira outside of what was absolutely necessary, and he was rude to anyone else on the ship who dared to speak to him. Taset could feel his anger towards her at all times, like heat, which complicated meditation and, in general, every day life.

On the way to Onderon they were gunned down and landed on the Onderon moon Dxun, and she felt relieved when Atton offered to stay behind to repair the ship.

She took Bao-Dur and T3-M4 with her on the mission, and despite the many challenges presented to her, she couldn't help but think back to her disgruntled pilot back on the ship, and wonder if he would ever forgive her…

- - -

"Look, Rand, you're going to have to try to get over this tantrum you've been throwing for the last week," Mira said as she leaned against the wall in the cockpit. Atton was working and covered in grease, and he shot her a glare over his shoulder. "Oh, come on, grow up, loverboy. She told you she loved you, what more do you want?"

"She told me she loved me and asked me to help her stop," Atton replied sharply.

"Can you blame her?" Mira retorted. "You know how those Jedi are. She can't help herself. It's part of her nature. But that's not really why you're mad, is it?" she asked. Atton took a minute to reply.

"I don't need to tell you why I'm mad at you," he snapped. "But her…" he shook his head and went back to work.

"Look, whatever it is, you need to get over it and go talk to her."

"Why should I?" Atton sneered. "I love her, she loves me… but nothing can be that simple, no. What's the point?"

"You're just mad you got interrupted before you could kiss her."

Atton shot the bounty hunter another glare and grumbled under his breath.

"You are such a child. I don't know what she sees in you. But the fact is, she does see something in you, and you're just acting like a mynock's hindquarters and hurting her. Go fix it." She slapped the pilot upside the head and left him to ponder her words.

- - -

"Hey," the voice was reluctant, but she knew it was him before he even opened his mouth. She turned and looked at him expectantly. "Look, I'm sorry I… I'm sorry I avoided you these past few days."

The Exile nodded.

"I'm sorry for how I left the cockpit the other day." She said solemnly as she looked at the man she couldn't help but love.

"Look… can we talk?" he asked, sounding a little pained. Taset nodded.

"Should we go to the cockpit?" she asked.

"Nah. I told Mira we'd be in here. She said she'd tell everyone else to leave us alone."

Taset nodded and went to make her cot. "I was starting to think you'd never talk to me again." She commented while her back was to him. He was quiet for a minute.

"I know I overreacted," he said, sounding surprisingly upset for Atton. "I was just… disappointed." Taset sat down on her bed, hands folded in her lap as she stared up at the pilot.

"Disappointed?" she repeated.

"You told me you loved me!" the pilot exploded, hands out before him. "Do you get how impossible I thought that was? How it felt waiting for something I thought would never come, and then having you tell me out of nowhere that you have feelings for me?"

"I didn't expect you to return my feelings, either," she told him quietly.

"But you didn't want me to," he retorted.

"I never said that." She said. She said it so softly he almost didn't hear it. He stared at her blankly. "You're surprised? I knew that my feelings for you were wrong, yet I couldn't help but hope that you felt the same." She smiled up at him sadly. "It can't be simple, can it?"

"Why not?" Atton demanded, coming closer. "I love you and you love me. That's simple."

"It's anything but simple, and you know it." She told him firmly.

"If loving is wrong for a Jedi, then you've already been wrong hundreds of times." Atton argued.

"What are you talking about?" Taset asked, bewildered.

"You love everybody. You don't call it love, but it's there. You love everybody on this ship. Even Kreia. You love everybody we meet. I see it in you wherever we go – you help because you love, and you fight because you love. It can't be wrong, because it's what makes you who you are, it's what makes you such a threat…"

"You flatter me," she said, trying to sound dry despite the blush on her cheeks.

"And you know its true. What's so different about me?" he said. Standing so close to her that from her spot on the bed she had to look almost directly up to see his face.

"Having a lover is much more personal." She informed him, refusing to meet his eyes.

"More personal than spending three extra days in Iziz so you can get a fatherless family an open starport visa out of Onderon?" he challenged.

"Don't be stupid, Atton, of course it is! Look, I told you the other day – I need you to help me fight this, not make it harder for me."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I can't do that." He said stubbornly. She crossed her arms and turned her face away, upset. "Look, I think this could be good for you. Honest."

"Good for me?" she repeated, somewhat disgusted. "Atton, I can't make this any clearer: _I am a Jedi._"

"The last Jedi," Atton snapped. "Who's gonna call you out for bending the rules a little?"

"I am!" she said, standing so they were nose to nose. "I can't let the code fall away just because my pilot makes my heart beat a little bit faster than normal!"

Atton's face softened and he hooked his fingers in her belt loops, to her confused surprise.

"And I can't just let you walk away from me," he said quietly, giving her belt loops a tug that pulled her closer to him. She felt her thighs, stomach and chest against his and flushed as even more confusing emotions flooded her senses. His body had always filled her with a strange sort of fascination: she had always wanted to…well, to touch him. To see if his stomach and chest were as hard as they looked. She shook her head of such thoughts.

"You… you let me go, Atton Rand," She said, shaking her finger in his face and trying to be as commanding as possible. "I mean it."

"I don't think you do," Atton teased, grinning.

"I do," she argued weakly. "You're making things… complicated…"

"You could very easily simplify them if you wanted to," he pointed out, lifting a hand to pull out her hair tie and running his fingers through her hair. He pressed his lips against her neck and a muffled whine escaped her throat.

"Stop that," she said, ducking her head away from his.

"You're not leaving here until you decide to try this thing with me." He said, wrapping his free arm around her waist and pinning her to himself. "You'll find I can be quite persuasive," he gave her a devilish grin that melted most of her resolve, which irritated her more than anything. She glared at him.

"I'm not some giggling, insipid Twi'lek," she retorted, trying half-heartedly to use her arms as leverage to push herself away from him.

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy in your voice?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Taset scowled and looked away. "That was practically a month ago!" he exclaimed.

"I know what went on in that private pazaak room," she told him resentfully. "Like it was hard to figure out, her running around half naked…"

"You were jealous!" he laughed, sounding almost delighted. "If I had known you were interested, I would've taken you in there instead." He said, giving her a suggestive wink.

She scoffed, disgusted.

"Don't insult me. Jedi don't play Nar Shadaa rules," she snapped.

"Jedi also don't find themselves wrapped up in a lover's arms," he said huskily.

"Lover's arms," she scoffed, trying not to blush at the tone of his voice. "Please let me go."

"I don't think you want it enough," he said teasingly. She sighed.

"Don't make me beg," she said earnestly, looking him fully in the eyes. Atton chuckled.

"Sweetheart, that's exactly what I plan to do,"

"I have a name, you know," she said, her voice lowered as his face was merely a breath away from hers. He chuckled.

"Taset," he breathed into her ear, making a shiver slide down her spine.

"Please, Atton," she said, feeling shame overwhelm her. She dropped her head so that it rested against his sternum, and she took a deep breath. "I know you don't understand… I wish I could help you. It's not love that the Jedi have a problem with… it's how people act when they are in love. If my feelings for you were to become too strong, I could throw everything away for you." She pressed her eyes tightly together, preparing herself for a hurt or angry reaction, but all she felt was his fingers twine gently in her hair as he stroked her head.

"Yeah, alright," he said quietly. "I get that."

"Thank you, Atton," she said with a sigh, relieved and strangely disappointed.

"Oh, don't thank me yet, sister." He said. Taset lifted her head and stared at him.

"What do you mean?" she asked. Atton rubbed the palm of his hand along her jaw line, letting his fingers trail against the sensitive skin of her throat.

"I told you I'm not giving up and I'm keeping my word," he said, grinning roguishly. Irritated, Taset pushed him away.

"Stubborn pilot," she muttered under her breath, crossing her arms across her chest.

"You can fight and argue all you want, but anyone who's ever met you knows that you put your duty above all else." He said firmly. "And that," he said, backing her so that the backs of her knees hit her bed, "is why I see no reason you shouldn't be with me."

"I wouldn't let anything stop me from uniting the Jedi," Taset agreed in as normal a voice as she could muster, despite being in such close proximity to her pilot.

"Exactly," Atton said huskily, and before she could figure out what was happening, his lips had captured hers in a desperate kiss. A kind of wonderful pain seared down from her throat to the pit of her stomach. She did not react at first; lips frozen and eyes wide open in shock as he kissed her tenderly and anxiously again and again. He had been so confident in his seduction, so sure of her feelings and so sure she would give in, but his kiss told a different story. He kissed her like he wanted her and needed her but wasn't sure if he could have her. His hands cupped her face and his thumbs stroked the sides of her face lovingly, and slowly, slowly, her eyelids began to fall shut and she tentatively moved her lips against his, unsure of what to do but wanting to do it anyway. Her fingers reached in terror for the front of his jacket; for something to hold on to. With her positive reinforcement, Atton seemed to gain confidence, deepening the kiss and pulling the Exile in even closer.

He felt her balk, however, and remembered it was her first kiss, and slowly pulled his lips away. He pressed several final chaste kisses to her lips and rested his forehead against hers. She was shaky underneath his hands.

"Not bad," he whispered, teasing and overjoyed. Taset, for one, could not find words to speak. For the millionth time in the past few days, she felt herself overwhelmed with strong, conflicting emotions: an irrepressible joy, and the deep, deep shame of betrayal. He was whispering to her now, stroking her hair, but she was distracted trying to prevent tears from welling up in her eyes. She hadn't cried since she was a child. It felt strange and awful.

"Taset?"

"It's a lot to take, is all," she said, wrenching herself away from him and staring out the window into the endless expanse of the universe. She heard a frustrated snarl behind her and sighed. It wasn't fair to him, not at all.

"Look, I'm sorry!" Atton exclaimed as he stormed over to the Exile, sounding desperate and aggravated all at once. "I didn't mean – "

"Don't apologize," she said softly and kindly, turning to give him a smile. He looked so distressed that she reached up for his face.

"I've obviously done something wrong," Atton said plaintively as her fingers shakily brushed against his cheekbones. She sighed.

"No, I don't think so," she said. "Just give me a little bit of time to figure this out." She took his face between her hands and stared into his eyes with burning sincerity. "Alright?" Atton seemed chastened in her sight.

"Yeah, alright."

------

_Something always brings me back to you_

_It never takes too long_

_No matter what I say or do _

_I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone_

_You hold me without touch._

_You keep me without chains_

_I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love _

_and not feel your rain_

_Set me free, leave me be_

_I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity_

_Here I am _

_and I stand so tall_

_just the way I'm supposed to be_

_But you're on to me _

_and all over me_

- - -

A/N: "Gravity" Sara Bareilles.


End file.
